What should sex look like?

Where did sex come from? I know, I sound like a little kid when she asks where babies come from. But I’m serious: where and when do you think sex started? Who invented it? Has it been perfected? Is what we know all there is to know? Why are some of us afraid of what we don’t know? What did sex look like before Hugh Heffner, Larry Flynt and others got our society to view sex through their lenses?

When something is bad and we like it, why do we credit the devil for it? When something is good and pure and we don’t like it, why do we blame God for it? That seems skewed and unfair if you ask me. You know what I’m talking about: lust feels good but it’s the devil’s fault; sex sucks and God’s to blame. Like I said; skewed view. We need a paradigm shift.

The journey begins

I was sitting on the couch reading one day when suddenly I had the idea to go peek at my hubby while he was taking a shower. I ignored it at first, not because I didn't enjoy looking at my husband, but because I thought he'd want to have sex. And it's not that I didn't like to have sex; I just didn't like my body. And having sex meant having to undress my body. Because, you know, if I don't uncover it, then I don't have to think about it, right? But I couldn't shake the feeling that I needed to go peek at the hubster's package.

So I got off my blessed assurance and went to the back of the house. I stood on the toilet lid and looked over the top of the shower door. I was expecting him to smile, say something macho, or puff out his chest. But he didn't do any of those things. In fact, he didn't know what to do.

So say it was awkward would be putting it mildly. It's not that he didn't like me coming in there to look at him; it's just that I'd never done that before. But things were about to change; big time. I spent a lot of time thinking about what kind of sex life I wanted and whether what I was doing was going to get me there. And so began a journey of changing beliefs, behaviors, and body image.