What changed?

I have a friend who seems to hate sex with her husband and it makes me sad. I've been thinking of something she said recently about "having to have sex with him" and I couldn't help but wonder what changed in their relationship. They've been together for many years now and I'd be willing to guess it wasn't always this way. I think it was different in the beginning of their story.

So what changed?

Was it him?

Was it her?

Did they stop loving each other?

Did one of them start loving someone else?

Or did they get caught up in life, jobs, kids, responsibilities, and obligations and just forget to do the things they used to do? Did he stop telling her she's pretty? Did she stop thinking he was the coolest guy she'd ever met? Did he stop taking the time to notice her and take her for granted? Did he just start being only interested in sexual acts because he was tired? Did she stop showing him respect because he didn't meet her emotional needs one day because he was caught up in his own?

Can what changed be changed back? It absolutely can. It's not going to be easy but it will be worth it.

What can you do? Ask your spouse what you do that makes him/her feel loved. Now ask what you do or don't do that makes him/her feel neglected. Don't get your feelings hurt if he/she is brave enough to be honest. Thank him/her for shooting straight with you and vow to work on it. Then...go work on it.

Happy Wednesday! :)